At times I am hesitant to post my thoughts and feelings because I worry about criticism! I am blue (color personality analysis) which is the reason for my worry about how I appear to others. Yes, I am bearing my soul today, if for no other reason than for my own encouragement! If you read this, thanks for letting me get it out in the open where I can see it for myself!
I have been a little fussy at life in general lately! I have been walking around telling anyone that would listen that I had lost my joy, I wasn't happy, my nerves were bothering me, I'm sick, and the list could go on and on! I have been so self absorbed that I am not sure why He even bothered to speak to me last night or that I even could hear! Thankfully He did speak and I somehow heard Him!
Sometimes it is not the big things in life that get your attention, sometimes it is a new way to look at a life. Last night I was wondering around the blog world and happened upon a blog that at first glance I thought, "Oh, wow, another adoption blog!" (I do not know her so I am not sure about sharing her blog without permission.) Granted, I LOVE the whole miracle of adoption, but sometimes (my blog included) adoption blogs are just cute pictures of beautiful children! As I began to read their amazing story, tears began to fall! Her passion to "care for the orphans and widows in their time of need"(James 1:27) is so strong! Last night I saw what I have been called to do in a whole new light! The other thing that impressed me about this family is that they really live at the point of "what is God fixing to do?"
Their blog made me ask myself if caring for orphans really is a ministry? Is caring for them in their hour of greatest need really given the priority in my life that it really deserves? I have looked at adoption as a way of extending my family, yet I have always been scared to look at it as a ministry. Kids and the desire for more is sometimes looked at with crossed eyes! Therefore, I have not been a real advocate of adoption, a realization that makes me ashamed! I know that I should speak up and take an active role in promoting adoption! I have felt that the thought of more than the 2.5 children, that statistics show live in American households, scares people to death. We can only change that concept by educating people about the blessings of children. Psalms 127:3 says,"Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward."
I think through this family's blog, I have been inspired to tell my story, our story, and to share how God has blessed us by adopting. So, for the next few weeks, as time permits and the Lord leads, I will be sharing our adoption journey from start to finish! ***I know, that by doing so, I really move my family into a glass house, but I trust that God will protect us from any rocks thrown!
Also, last night I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are not through with adoption! I have known for sometime, but I feel that I have been pushing my will on God! I want to go back to a certain country! I want that Asian empress, when God maybe call us to an African princess! I want to be open, willing, not caring what others think, not worrying about the snide remarks that I have had in the past about MORE children, and turn my will over to a God that has a perfect plan!
This morning I woke up with a new resolve, joy, burden, and thought pattern! I WILL live from now on waking up with a burning desire to see what God will do today! Yes, I will become an over comer through the power of my testimony! Wait until you see what God has done and is wanting to do!!!!!
4 comments:
Kayla,
It's hard to listen sometimes isn't? I continue to feel God leading me in ways I just do not want to go, but He always knows best. I know it must have been hard to post this - bless you for doing so. I have a huge heart for adoption & I continue to pray that someday I'll be able to welcome a new child (or two or more...LOL) home. Don't worry what the world thinks - we don't serve the world. Continue to follow God's lead & you'll do just fine. (((hugs)))
Kayla,
Thank you for sharing. I have shared my wish to adopt with others and, even though it has been met with the same snide remarks you have gotten, I still feel a pull in that direction. I would also like to do foster care. I have felt that for a long time. I think the reason I have not made the jump is that to some it seems "strange" and they do not understand why we would want to open our home to strange children, for short or long periods of time. However, I have learned, that I can only do what God tells me to do and I just don't feel right and am not happy until I just DO IT! So, hon, let's do it! Lord knows I have enough room now! HA!
Thank you for your post, Kayla. There's nothing like getting us up and out of our doldrums (I'm in them, too, partly because of the weather, partly because Ainsley is in England)like getting something off our chest and committing to help others! I have 6 kids and after this many the snide remarks kind of go away. People have just given up on our sanity! God Bless and I can't WAIT to see who joins your family next!!! Tina
Kayla,
I love this... keep sharing your thoughts.... they are a ministry all on their own!
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